Archive for July, 2010
Duck News Flash
The ducks are doing very well, every morning each of the females usually lays one egg, which is quite good because there are six females. So at about 8:15 after I’m dressed for work I’ll head up to the top of the garden where the ducks are and I’ll let them out of their hutch into their brand new run so I can open the hutch and retrieve the 4-6 eggs that they laid that morning.
Brand new run = We have built a block paved area for them with a proper pond!
New duck aivery with block paving and pond.
We still need to put them away at night because they are too noisy in the early hours to leave out, especially when it’s a hot weekend night and all the neighbors have their windows open and the ducks have woken at 0600 on a Sunday and are quacking their head off because they are shagging in the pond….
Comic Sans
Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.
You don’t like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-law’s blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I’m standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.
People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.
When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding “Reign In Blood” on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.
It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.
Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.
I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.
By Mike Lacher
Last.fm… but for software!
Nice find monkey.
Jäger
I’m pleased to introduce the newest member of my family…. Jäger the German Shepherd Dog
Paula and Jäger
Obviously Jäger is in addition to the eight ducks and the cat we already have. I’m just wondering at which point our home will no longer classify as house and instead becomes a farm.
He works full time in IT and spends his evenings feeding the farm that is his home has become. Mark loves playing Ultimate every now and again, toying with his camera and has just started scuba diving.
